Hey Adam Rippon: The Autoblow Is Your Ideal Sponsor And We Have A Lot Of Money. We’ll pay you $300,000 an hour foryour time.

It’s simple: Autoblow 2, the record breaking crowdfunded automated oral sex simulator for men, doesn’t have a spokesman, but after selling 200,000 units (enough for 6 full Pyeongchang Olympic stadiums full of men), the company that makes it has a lot of money. Brian Sloan, the owner of VIECI, the Autoblow2’s parent company, read yesterday that Bronze medalist Adam Rippon was not only looking for sponsors, but stated to CNBC that he “wasn’t picky” and “loved money.”

Brian Sloan has a message for Adam:

“Adam, I too love money…why else would I have invented such a product? We’re the third best-selling male sex toy and you won third place at the games. The Autoblow is the American champion of automatic masturbationdevices and you are the American champion of ice skating. Your hard work and dedication to your sport has inspiredmillions; now it’s time to cash in. Take our money and represent our brand to the millions of men who admire you.

Let’s make your first 10 grand easy: get in touch with us and we’ll send you an Autoblow 2. Tweet a photo of yourself holding the product, pointing at it, and smiling. Then we’ll send you $10,000. At 2 minutes of work for $10,000, that is $300,000 an hour. There’s more where that came from.”

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