Samia Burton, sex educator and founder of inspiring online community Sexual Essentials, is offering supportive advice to those who want to try a threesome but don’t know where to begin.
Burton, who offers online crash courses on the delicate subject at Patreon.com/sexualessentials, answers questions about the most ethical way to approach a threeway with others, the best way to initiate consent from all parties, and how singles who want to meet a couple for threeway fun can connect other than through apps and sex parties.
“People enjoy threesomes simply for the same reason that they enjoy sex with one person – just imagine it doubled when you add an extra person or couple to your mix? More kisses, more cuddles and more consent!” says Burton. “Threesomes don’t have to be for everyone, but like any other sexual act as long as its consensual, then it can be perfectly healthy for those that would like to add it to their sex lives.”
Burton’s guidelines include defining why they want a threesome – whether it’s for sexual exploration, curiosity, fulfilling a long-held fantasy or crossing it off a ‘bucket list’: “being on the same page is important as well as understanding that a threesome is not a ‘gift’ or a reward. Your sexuality is not something to dangle,” she says.
She says that recognizing potential red flags to protect the outcome of the situation is vital to make sure everyone is on the same page; establishing boundaries beforehand is also important. “Whether in a couple or by yourself make sure you know your limitations beforehand to keep the experience fun and enjoyable for everyone.”
Test out flirting and getting comfortable with others to gauge situations before taking the leap, and focus on a positive outcome by mentally preparing for the work of creating an intense, pleasurable situation for everyone involved. As for finding a third party, “people are more open than you think, and remember it’s not a crime to approach someone – if they seem interested, go for it and if not, simply go on your way.”
Burton also stresses safety and consent: “Volunteer safety parameters such as offering your address or asking them what location makes them most comfortable. I suggest everyone ask upfront about boundaries… if you’re asking someone to spend the evening with you, then SAY THAT! Be clear each part of your night deserves consent so get used to asking sexy questions, a yes to join you for the night is NOT a yes to sex. Clarity is sexy! Consent is SEXY!”
To learn more about the ins and outs of threesomes, visit SexualEssentials.com and email Samia Burton at Booking@thesexualessentials.
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